I'm having a morning (maybe several mornings) that I just want to be grumpy. Not that I WANT to be grumpy, but something within me wants to be grumpy. I'm tired, the dog woke me up and wanted out at midnight. The sink is full of dishes. My day is full. And I could keep going... letting the grumpies start their parade. Then a song from when I was younger starts to play in my mind.... "Count your blessings, count them one by one" The dog that woke me in the night...he makes us feel a little safer overall. That sink full of dishes...means we had more than enough. That full day...means a paycheck, but also that I have a flexible job that allows time off to spend with family, for appointments, etc. I try to teach that grumpy a lesson by choosing my "enjoy the journey" mug for my battle drink (aka coffee). But it's still pressing...how can you enjoy the journey without this, that, and the other?! I have books next to me - one New Morning Mercies and the other one called We are all that's left. It isn't lost on me which one the grumpy taunts me with. It doesn't matter that the book is fiction and for reading for pleasure...the grumpy likes to make me feel alone and lonely. I grab my morning devotional. Now armed with the inspirational coffee cup and devotional book. *Now I will pause, I'm letting this play out as words hit my fingers. I've not read ahead or glanced in the book for today's words. What identity will you assign to yourself today? Will you deal with life based on what you assess you bring to the table or based on who you now are as a child of the King of kings and Lord of Lords -- the Savior who is always with you in power and grace? Will you live in timidity and fear or in the courage of hope? Will you avoid challenges of faith in fear or move toward them, resting not in your own ability but in the presence, power, and grace of the One who rules all and has become your Father? May God give you grace to remember your identity as his child in those moments when remember is essential. I look around me...search inside too... And remember my identity in this moment when remembering is essential. I am not alone on this journey. New morning mercies indeed!
I'll keep counting my blessings as I empty the dishwasher and refill it. I might need to do it while taking the dog out as well. As many times as I need to....gratitude is a good weapon against the grumpies...especially as I remember and am thankful for the grace and new identity from the Savior who is always with me.
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The sun has returned to us! Oh, how good it feels to have it shining again!! It is breaking through what feels like months (but probably more like weeks) of gloomy winter skies. It finally feels as if we were able to break out and walk again too. I haven't missed a stretch like this since first moving to the area in late April. It felt GOOD to walk again. Guess where the idea of walking came from...if you said life coaching, you would be correct. But I didn't jump on the idea right away. I knew it was a good idea, but it took a little for it to settle in from my mind down to my feet to take action.
Jason called these walks "focused walks". The goal was to use the time for a focus/purpose -- listen to an audio book, encouraging music, prayer time, etc. *As I write this, it isn't lost that the word purpose was already making its way into a focus. As I've been thinking through and writing this post, I've been also connecting that walking is physical, but also spiritual. Just as Jason encouraged me to use my physical walks to focus in, I can use the same words with my walk as a believer. It goes back to a lot that I've already written about with getting positioned and my goal of loving Jesus first. In Sunday's message, Pastor Brad shared this: Those words spoke to me - that I would be walking so closely to Jesus and His teaching, that I could be getting the dust off His walking and spending time with HIm. That is the walk that I want to have...one so focused and positioned. I'll wrap up this post with a song that was sung on Sunday. It also spoke deeply to me with my current "walk" - I want the noise around me to be silenced, so that I can hear His words and truth...I'm listening, I want to know Your heart.
A friend of mine called his comfort zone his comfy zone and I've adopted it to my vocabulary as well. It makes me think of my comfy sweaters, blankets, and all things soft and wonderful. All things that you could wrap yourself in and feel warm and well...comfy. Often, I get so wrapped up in the comfort comfy-ness that it is difficult to want to leave that space. Knowing, regular routines and pleasure of predictability. Ahh...soooo comfy!! But growth and moving forward in life doesn't happen in that zone. I've had to be reminded and remind myself of that throughout my life.
I think it's a little funny that the designer of this image chose grey for the comfort and fear zones and then yellow for the next two. It is almost like making those zones a nicer, inviting color will entice me. But I do like the color yellow better than grey....so maybe it would be worth getting over there. And then my brain starts to remember other times that we were brave and headed out to the sunny yellow side. That yellow side -- new skills, dealing with challenges, conquering objectives and even finding purpose and living dreams! It can be done!
Sometimes we just have to remind ourselves that we are capable of positioning ourselves outside of the comfy.
Seriously, let me know when it's spring! When the smell outside has that new life smell. When things seem to be growing again and the sun shines with hope. It just leaves me feeling meh, bleh, and ehh. I question the value of winter and even did some searching with winter....and then stumbled upon this... I guess winter does cause me to slow down, to snuggle in and rest. It reminds me of the treasure of sunlight and its warmth. I might even admit that the snowfall can be quite beautiful and peaceful.
Winter is about preparation too. Prepare for the cold, prepare for travel....prepare the fire, the soup and the cocoa! Although my mind tends to go to layers of clothing and the more frustrating parts of winter -- it does have reminders of positive. We prepare our hearts for receiving our King at Christmas. We prepare our minds for a new year and the goals that it brings. And He is preparing me/you during the winter as well! Let the beauty of the snowflakes remind you of His promises (like Isaiah 1:18 “Though your sins are like scarlet, I will make them as white as snow.); let the warmth of blankets, soup and fire remind you of how He soothes your soul. I've mentioned in previous posts that I'm in a season involving some waiting. I have some things that I'm hoping and dreaming about. And waiting time, can be full of questions...when, where, how, why, what... It's hard to not have all the answers! There are times when God seems quiet when all you want is a loud booming answer. But this was a good reminder that sometimes, He leans in close and gently whispers.
Think of a whisper and how quiet and still you need to be to catch it. As I've thought about this, it continues to speak to being positioned -- I too have to lean in close to hear that whisper! Leaning into Him, I have to lean away from my own understanding (thoughts). I have to lean away from the timing that I think is right and yes the answers that I have in mind too. I have to allow the gentle whisper to remind me that His ways are far higher and better than I could ever imagine -- to trust. He created me for a purpose and I'm getting positioned! I was thinking about the word positioned and positioning today. My youngest just bought a new comfy chair for her room. In doing so, it brought about some repositioning of furniture. We had to make room for that piece and find the "just right spot" too for it. This was a new bigger piece and had to be positioned just right. I feel that repositioning! A little physically with carrying that chair...*Side note for a funny story* I might have not known the "rules" for buying a chair at Home Goods...and I might have carried it to the line. A sweet lady in front of us might have said that it was better to put the chair up at the front and not carry it through the line. The sales person might have laughed a little after asking the last name on the chair and I said that we had carried it up to the front and it wouldn't have a name on it. But I also feel it spiritually. In many ways I'm repositioning "things" and adjusting so that I can love God first. I've had to let go of things...things that I was trying to control, things that were distracting, etc. I'm repositioning my thinking and my hopes. My devotional the other morning was on hope. Paul Tripp in the devotional, New Morning Mercies, writes about some things that we should know about hope. The second he mentioned really hits - "what you place your hope in will set the direction of your life". Hope is not a situation. Hope is not a location. Hope is not a possession. Hope is not an experience. Hope is more than an insight or a truism. Hope is a person, and his name is Jesus. (January 20th - New Morning Mercies)
Psalm 57:2 says, “I cry out to God Most High, to God who fulfills his purpose for me.” |
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March 2024
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